Safety- Is it Possible?

At a recent dialogue on race that I was asked to co-facilitate with a white, male co-facilitator, we asked the group to introduce themselves and share one thing that they needed in order to do their best work during the two days that we were spending with them.  The group was overwhelmingly white, 16 of 18 participants, and as  each participant went around the circle and shared their names, almost all of the participants who identified as white/Caucasian or European-American, said they needed safety in order to do their best work.  Safety to make mistakes, safety to share thoughts and beliefs that may be counter to other’s beliefs/thoughts and safety not be seen as ignorant or called racist for what they expressed.  It certainly was an interesting start to the workshop and it was a marker for me that several things needed to be tended to as a co-facilitator.  I needed to work with my co-facilitator and the group to build an environment that could hold these voiced concerns, be aware that there were unhealed hurts from previous interactions across race present with this group and that the need for safety expressed by dominant groups, in this case white people, can sometimes be a cover for maintaining privilege or at the minimum, being unwilling to challenge themselves to do critical and hard self-examination around issues of race and racism.

The opening of this workshop reminds me of questions (and internal struggles) that inevitably come up for me and my colleagues about issues of safety or the need to ensure that individuals engaging in these complex and transformative dialogues feel respected.  Across race, the question may sound like, how do we make sure that whites are not made to feel guilty or shamed or that the lives and realities of people of color are not solely put on display for whites to legitimize or give support to their existence?  Is this even possible?  If it is possible, where do we even start to develop both a process and content that helps address these and other concerns related to safety?  As an educator/facilitator committed to creating engaging and transformative dialogues across differences, I continue to struggle with these same questions and concerns. 

As I have struggled with the issue of safety, several interesting concerns arise. For some individuals, usually the individuals with the most power and privilege in these interactions, safety means comfort or comfortableness.  I don’t want to be made to feel uncomfortable, to be challenged or to hear the truth of someone else’s reality.  In these cases, safety becomes another form of maintaining privilege and a barrier to authentic and transformative change.  In some other cases, safety is about not letting things get so out of hand, where we envision “emotions getting heated” and the conversation “gets out of hand.”  Issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other differences are difficult, complex and joyful and to believe that these conversation can be absent of emotions is naïve and unrealistic.  Emotions are a part of every aspect of our lives and too often we are told, directly or indirectly, to “keep emotions out of it” asking individuals to leave behind one of their most important assets in life – their emotional intelligence – to help create change.  When safety is a tool used to maintain privilege, silence people’s voices and invalidate realities, it will only work to maintain the status quo and oppression. 

So if not safety, then what?  More and more, I have found myself describing the spaces that I work with others to create as welcoming and inclusive and supportive and challenging as an alternative to describing these spaces as safe.   For me, these words strung together help me to consider that I want all participants to feel welcomed and included - to bring their whole selves into the space - AND that they will be supported at whatever place they come into this dialogue across differences - based on their experiences (or lack thereof) - AND they will be challenged to grow and hopefully transform from where they entered this space. 

Here are some suggestions on how to create welcoming, inclusive, supportive and challenging spaces for people to engage in difficult, transformative, joyful and life giving conversations across differences:

- Establish guidelines or working agreements – Work with the participants to identify guidelines (or provide pre-established guidelines) or working agreements that will serve as a reminder of how the group will interact with each other.  Post the guidelines in the room and ask the group to agree to uphold the guidelines, to the best of their ability, throughout the time together.  A few guidelines that may be helpful include, “It’s okay to disagree, but it is not okay to shame, blame or attack yourself or others,” “Be aware of intent and impact,” and “Practice both/and thinking.” 

- Welcome and recognize emotions – Acknowledge that emotions are part of the human experience and can be very helpful as a tool for change.  Also acknowledge that emotions are always present when we are in relationship with others discussing complex issues or issues that are seen as “taboo” to talk about in public.  Ask participants to recognize and express what they are feeling (mad, sad, scared, peaceful, powerful or joyful) as a way of connecting the intellectual with the emotional that will support transformation and spiritual/emotional health. 

- Practice what you teach – If you co-facilitate with others, take the time to build a relationship with that individual that can be a model for participants on how to authentically work across differences.  As much as possible, try to have facilitation teams that are diverse so that when there is a need to challenge an idea or thought, facilitators can be supportive of each other and share their experiences related privilege and change, while not undermining the voice or power of anyone on the team. 

- Model being authentic and vulnerable – For participants to feel comfortable being vulnerable or expand their comfort level, it may be inspiring to hear facilitators share their thoughts and experiences of when we have made mistakes or taken risks,Safet or when we were stuck in beliefs or actions that were hurtful or oppressive.  Modeling authenticity and vulnerability around these issues may help others to move through a similar process of growth and change.

We may never be able to create a space that is totally safe for everyone, however, I do believe that we can create spaces that can hold the various emotions, insights, experiences and identities that we and our participants bring into these interactions, holding all of these with respect, support and the opportunity to grow and change. 

What have you done to create spaces that are welcoming and inclusive, supportive and challenging around complex issues around differences?

Dionardo Pizaña

Diversity and Personnel Specialist

Michigan State University Extension