Networks and relationships are extremely important in my work as a business development specialist in small communities. To promote my program, workshops, and business coaching, I speak to Rotary Clubs and other civic and social groups to increase awareness and build a referral network. I am a member of many such groups
Recently, at a local Rotary luncheon, a group of men were discussing an active social club to which they belong in my community. Since the membership included bankers, city officials and other community leaders, I asked whether there were any women members of the club. There was a lengthy silence, and the friendly, self-deprecating reply, “women have more sense than to join this club.”
My well-intentioned question did not give offense, but did result in some rapid reflection from the men. I did understand the answer to mean that my desired outcome of a deeper professional relationship would not result from pursuing this course. Now, I have no reason to believe that my participation in the group would increase the success of business development in the community, but I do think discussions occur, initiatives are developed, and business relationships are formed and strengthened through the club.
A colleague of mine, John, has a mnemonic he uses when entering a group or gathering. He looks to see whether the representation is “PMS,” Pale, Male, and Stale. In other words, he stays aware that decision making groups may be over-representative of middle-aged Caucasian men.
We are most comfortable around those who are like us, however need to stay focused on striving to make sure that those affected by decisions are represented, and that we seek out diverse viewpoints.
Do you have a story to share about feeling excluded based on gender or other characteristic? Please share your strategies for maintaining social ties while continuing to promote diversity, equity, and inclusion.
KEM
