Mentoring relationships provide
opportunities for growth and learning by all individuals who are involved. In
order to build caring, respectful, trusting relationships across differences,
it's critically important that mentors reflect deeply on how they've learned
about cultural differences and commit to unlearning inaccurate information they've
learned about others based in assumptions, bias, prejudice and stereotypes.
Cultural differences refer to people's beliefs,
values, standards of beauty, language patterns and styles of communication.
Many of these cultural aspects are connected to group’s racial background,
gender, class, spiritual or religious affiliation – and other differences. Simply
stated, who we are “culturally” reflects all of who we are and the wholeness of
ourselves which includes our race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation
and other aspects of our identity.
Becoming culturally sensitive includes
learning more about the "impact of differences" – the reality that
people are treated differently, oftentimes as “less than” – based on cultural
differences. Building a mentoring
relationship that supports and nurtures respect, openness, and affirmation and
helps to build and sustain trust, can provide a foundation for an authentic
relationship across difference. Other important
considerations for mentors include:
● Remember that everyone brings a
different cultural lens, world view and set of experiences into the relationship
-- including you! These factors and differing realities can provide both
challenges and opportunities within the relationship.
● Be aware that we all enter into
relationships across differences with information and misinformation about
differences – much of which is grounded in stereotypes, assumptions, prejudice
and fear.
● Make a commitment to more fully
recognize, understand and appreciate differences and the impact of differences
in your mentoring relationship.
● Notice power imbalances and commit to
understanding how power and privilege impact your mentoring relationship.
Explore how to be an ally to support an authentic relationship across
difference.
● As a mentor, recognize when you move
toward providing assistance that is grounded in well intentioned, “savior
mentality” that may lead to dysfunctional rescuing or other unhelpful behavior
in the relationship.
● As a mentor, commit to being a
navigator to your mentee - helping to connect your mentee with others in the
organization, problem solve collaboratively with your mentee to address issues,
and making visible organizational processes and procedures (written and
unwritten) - that supports your mentee’s success.
● Remain open and humble and welcome
the gifts and opportunities for learning that mentoring across differences will
provide you.
● Be aware the issues and identities
such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other
differences are always present in relationships across differences. These factors and issues may or may not be
primary to the interaction or situation, but work not to deny that these
differences exist.
● Be aware when denial, disbelief,
defensiveness or other unhelpful behaviors show up in your mentoring
relationships across differences especially when discussing difficult or
complex issues related to differences.
What other attributes or
characteristics would you list as important to successful mentoring relationships
across differences?
What have been some of your important
things your have learned about yourself when engaging in mentoring
relationships across differences?
Written by Dionardo Pizaña
Written by Dionardo Pizaña
