Being Sensitive - Being Open - Being Authentic: Considerations for Mentoring Across Differences

Mentoring relationships provide opportunities for growth and learning by all individuals who are involved. In order to build caring, respectful, trusting relationships across differences, it's critically important that mentors reflect deeply on how they've learned about cultural differences and commit to unlearning inaccurate information they've learned about others based in assumptions, bias, prejudice and stereotypes.

 

Cultural differences refer to people's beliefs, values, standards of beauty, language patterns and styles of communication. Many of these cultural aspects are connected to group’s racial background, gender, class, spiritual or religious affiliation – and other differences. Simply stated, who we are “culturally” reflects all of who we are and the wholeness of ourselves which includes our race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation and other aspects of our identity.

 

Becoming culturally sensitive includes learning more about the "impact of differences" – the reality that people are treated differently, oftentimes as “less than” – based on cultural differences.  Building a mentoring relationship that supports and nurtures respect, openness, and affirmation and helps to build and sustain trust, can provide a foundation for an authentic relationship across difference.  Other important considerations for mentors include:

 

● Remember that everyone brings a different cultural lens, world view and set of experiences into the relationship -- including you! These factors and differing realities can provide both challenges and opportunities within the relationship.

 

● Be aware that we all enter into relationships across differences with information and misinformation about differences – much of which is grounded in stereotypes, assumptions, prejudice and fear.

 

● Make a commitment to more fully recognize, understand and appreciate differences and the impact of differences in your mentoring relationship.

 

● Notice power imbalances and commit to understanding how power and privilege impact your mentoring relationship. Explore how to be an ally to support an authentic relationship across difference.

 

● As a mentor, recognize when you move toward providing assistance that is grounded in well intentioned, “savior mentality” that may lead to dysfunctional rescuing or other unhelpful behavior in the relationship.

 

● As a mentor, commit to being a navigator to your mentee - helping to connect your mentee with others in the organization, problem solve collaboratively with your mentee to address issues, and making visible organizational processes and procedures (written and unwritten) - that supports your mentee’s success. 

 

● Remain open and humble and welcome the gifts and opportunities for learning that mentoring across differences will provide you.

 

● Be aware the issues and identities such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other differences are always present in relationships across differences.  These factors and issues may or may not be primary to the interaction or situation, but work not to deny that these differences exist.

 

● Be aware when denial, disbelief, defensiveness or other unhelpful behaviors show up in your mentoring relationships across differences especially when discussing difficult or complex issues related to differences. 

 

What other attributes or characteristics would you list as important to successful mentoring relationships across differences?

 

What have been some of your important things your have learned about yourself when engaging in mentoring relationships across differences?




Written by Dionardo Pizaña

Safety- Is it Possible?

At a recent dialogue on race that I was asked to co-facilitate with a white, male co-facilitator, we asked the group to introduce themselves and share one thing that they needed in order to do their best work during the two days that we were spending with them.  The group was overwhelmingly white, 16 of 18 participants, and as  each participant went around the circle and shared their names, almost all of the participants who identified as white/Caucasian or European-American, said they needed safety in order to do their best work.  Safety to make mistakes, safety to share thoughts and beliefs that may be counter to other’s beliefs/thoughts and safety not be seen as ignorant or called racist for what they expressed.  It certainly was an interesting start to the workshop and it was a marker for me that several things needed to be tended to as a co-facilitator.  I needed to work with my co-facilitator and the group to build an environment that could hold these voiced concerns, be aware that there were unhealed hurts from previous interactions across race present with this group and that the need for safety expressed by dominant groups, in this case white people, can sometimes be a cover for maintaining privilege or at the minimum, being unwilling to challenge themselves to do critical and hard self-examination around issues of race and racism.

The opening of this workshop reminds me of questions (and internal struggles) that inevitably come up for me and my colleagues about issues of safety or the need to ensure that individuals engaging in these complex and transformative dialogues feel respected.  Across race, the question may sound like, how do we make sure that whites are not made to feel guilty or shamed or that the lives and realities of people of color are not solely put on display for whites to legitimize or give support to their existence?  Is this even possible?  If it is possible, where do we even start to develop both a process and content that helps address these and other concerns related to safety?  As an educator/facilitator committed to creating engaging and transformative dialogues across differences, I continue to struggle with these same questions and concerns. 

As I have struggled with the issue of safety, several interesting concerns arise. For some individuals, usually the individuals with the most power and privilege in these interactions, safety means comfort or comfortableness.  I don’t want to be made to feel uncomfortable, to be challenged or to hear the truth of someone else’s reality.  In these cases, safety becomes another form of maintaining privilege and a barrier to authentic and transformative change.  In some other cases, safety is about not letting things get so out of hand, where we envision “emotions getting heated” and the conversation “gets out of hand.”  Issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other differences are difficult, complex and joyful and to believe that these conversation can be absent of emotions is naïve and unrealistic.  Emotions are a part of every aspect of our lives and too often we are told, directly or indirectly, to “keep emotions out of it” asking individuals to leave behind one of their most important assets in life – their emotional intelligence – to help create change.  When safety is a tool used to maintain privilege, silence people’s voices and invalidate realities, it will only work to maintain the status quo and oppression. 

So if not safety, then what?  More and more, I have found myself describing the spaces that I work with others to create as welcoming and inclusive and supportive and challenging as an alternative to describing these spaces as safe.   For me, these words strung together help me to consider that I want all participants to feel welcomed and included - to bring their whole selves into the space - AND that they will be supported at whatever place they come into this dialogue across differences - based on their experiences (or lack thereof) - AND they will be challenged to grow and hopefully transform from where they entered this space. 

Here are some suggestions on how to create welcoming, inclusive, supportive and challenging spaces for people to engage in difficult, transformative, joyful and life giving conversations across differences:

- Establish guidelines or working agreements – Work with the participants to identify guidelines (or provide pre-established guidelines) or working agreements that will serve as a reminder of how the group will interact with each other.  Post the guidelines in the room and ask the group to agree to uphold the guidelines, to the best of their ability, throughout the time together.  A few guidelines that may be helpful include, “It’s okay to disagree, but it is not okay to shame, blame or attack yourself or others,” “Be aware of intent and impact,” and “Practice both/and thinking.” 

- Welcome and recognize emotions – Acknowledge that emotions are part of the human experience and can be very helpful as a tool for change.  Also acknowledge that emotions are always present when we are in relationship with others discussing complex issues or issues that are seen as “taboo” to talk about in public.  Ask participants to recognize and express what they are feeling (mad, sad, scared, peaceful, powerful or joyful) as a way of connecting the intellectual with the emotional that will support transformation and spiritual/emotional health. 

- Practice what you teach – If you co-facilitate with others, take the time to build a relationship with that individual that can be a model for participants on how to authentically work across differences.  As much as possible, try to have facilitation teams that are diverse so that when there is a need to challenge an idea or thought, facilitators can be supportive of each other and share their experiences related privilege and change, while not undermining the voice or power of anyone on the team. 

- Model being authentic and vulnerable – For participants to feel comfortable being vulnerable or expand their comfort level, it may be inspiring to hear facilitators share their thoughts and experiences of when we have made mistakes or taken risks,Safet or when we were stuck in beliefs or actions that were hurtful or oppressive.  Modeling authenticity and vulnerability around these issues may help others to move through a similar process of growth and change.

We may never be able to create a space that is totally safe for everyone, however, I do believe that we can create spaces that can hold the various emotions, insights, experiences and identities that we and our participants bring into these interactions, holding all of these with respect, support and the opportunity to grow and change. 

What have you done to create spaces that are welcoming and inclusive, supportive and challenging around complex issues around differences?

Dionardo Pizaña

Diversity and Personnel Specialist

Michigan State University Extension

What can I do? Do my own work

By: Dionardo Pizaña

A question (or a variation of this) that is often posed to me is “What can I do, if I want to reach more diverse audiences and be more diverse?”   I often experience this question as a desire to get a “checklist” on what or what not to do when working with diverse audience or wanting a “factsheet” on the tendencies or characteristics to be aware of when working with these audiences.  If it were only that easy!  Building and sustaining authentic relationships across differences is complex, takes time and can lead to wonderful and exciting opportunities.  And there are things that we can all do if we are interested in learning about differences and working more effectively with diverse audiences. 

I would suggest that one of the most important and powerful places we can begin this journey is by “doing our own work” or seeing this journey as an “inside out” process.  “Doing my own work” can be described as:

- Being curious, willing and excited to explore how I have been socialized to understand and experiences differences across race, gender, sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other differences and how that information and experiences influence my current relationships with others

- Being willing to explore my own cultural background and how this informs and impacts myself and my relationships with others

- Being willing to investigate (and own) my points of privilege and power related to my dominant identities such as being male, white, middle class, formally educated, heterosexual, or a person without a disability

- Being willing to see and articulate how forms of oppression such as racism, sexism, ableism, heterosexism and classism hurts all of us and separates us from our human tendency to want to connect and build relationships with others

Although this is not the only pathway to working across differences, “doing my own work” recognizes that some of the most important work that anyone can do related to diversity, inclusion or equity starts within ourselves.  

Some ideas or resources that may assist in the process of “doing your own work” include:

- Talk with family members to explore your family history and cultural background.  Find out what your family struggles and triumphs have been or continue to be.

- Attending a professional development opportunity or conference that focuses on issues of diversity or inclusion and that challenges your thinking about differences.  You may find the following conferences/workshops helpful:

            * White Privilege Conference - http://www.whiteprivilegeconference.com/

            * Poverty Institutes - http://www.combarriers.com/institute_schedule

            * Opening Doors Workshop - http://www.diversity-project.org/

            * NCORE - https://ncore.ou.edu/

- Read this article by Dr. Valerie Batts, “Is Reconciliation Possible: Lessons for Combating Modern Racism” (http://visions-inc.org/article/is-reconciliation-possible-lessons-from-combating-modern-racism/ ) and document your responses to her thoughts and ways that you may directly or indirectly support modern forms of oppression

What else have you found to be helpful on your journey to learn about yourself and others?

Reaching New Audiences

When searching for new diversity and multicultural materials and resources, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the options.  How do you know what is tested and reliable?  Who else has used the materials?  What is new and in touch with current issues and trends?  Are the recommendations trustworthy?

One resource beyond what is offered here on our eXtension site is the Multicultural Pavilion.  The site spans issues of diversity, multicultural education, social justice, and is especially designed for educators.  While at first glance, it may appear to be focused on what is going on in schools, the resources and activities can be easily adapted for out-of-school programs and even adults.

Multicultural Forum provides an array of training tools, publications, printable handouts, and even links to music and videos that address diversity topics.   In its Research Room, you can find “original articles and essays on progressive, transformative, multicultural, social justice, and liberatory teaching and learning by educators around the world.” 

We would like to hear from you, too.  What sites have you found helpful to you in your work?  What are your recommendations to others who are seeking new sources of guidance and inspiration?  Post your responses here and share your experiences with other sites and resources.  Let’s work together to prepare ourselves for reaching and engaging new audiences in our Cooperative Extension Service.

Gae Broadwater, State Specialist         

Program & Staff Development         

College of Agriculture, Food Science, and Sustainable Systems

Kentucky State University                      

Understanding Ableism

As a non-disabled person, it has become clear to me that I have so much to learn about my unearned privileges and how I directly or indirectly collude with or support ableism.  It can be very easy for me to look at issues related to disabilities at the personal and interpersonal levels – I will change my beliefs and values related to disabilities or people with disabilities (personal) and do my best to not be offensive/paternalistic in the way that I treat people with disabilities or the language that I use (interpersonal).  It is a daily and intentional task to see how the system of oppression, ableism, benefits me on a regular basis at the expense of people with disabilities, both visible and not so visible.

Ableism is a system in which people without disabilities are accepted as “normal” and “capable” and people with disabilities are treated as abnormal, pitiful, to be feared and inferior.  Ableism grants privileges and unearned advantages to non-disabled people and denies people with disabilities full and equal access to housing, employment, health care, education, marriage, etc. Furthermore, ableism is a pervasive system of discrimination and exclusion that oppresses people with disabilities.  A system in which people without disabilities maintain supremacy over people with disabilities through a set of attitudes, behaviors, social structures, rewards, privileges, and benefits of the society are available to individuals according to their presumed level of ability. (Haus-Johnson and Squires, 2010)

As a result of ableism, as a non-disabled person:

• When I apply for a position, my abilities, not my disabilities, are fairly assessed during the employment process.
• I can be sure that the initial reaction to me as a person will not be one of pity, fear or sympathy.
• When I am in a mentoring relationship, it is not always assumed I am the mentee.
• My life experiences are not used for other people’s inspiration, motivation, or gratitude.
• My high achievements on standardized tests will not be discounted because of accommodations.
• I can be visible and engaged in discussions at work without extra effort.
• My decision to have a family will never be discussed within the context of fear of passing along a genetic disposition or without my parenting abilities being questioned because of my disability.
• I am able to participate in the community without it being called therapy, rehabilitation, or skills training.

These are just a few ways in which the oppressive system of ableism benefits me as a non-disabled person at the expense of people with disabilities.  It may be helpful for anyone of us who is non-disabled to reflect on our privileges as a result of ableism and work to address these issues within our spheres of influence by reflecting on the following questions:

• Where do I choose to hold my programs/meetings and are these locations places that are not only ADA compliant, but truly accessible for the full participation of people with disabilities?
• In what ways do I work to include people with disabilities in the development of my programs which target their participation so that their realities and perspectives help guide my work?
• What work do I need to do, personally and professionally, to better understand/investigate my thoughts, beliefs and actions in my relationships with people with disabilities?
• Do my materials reflect the inclusion of people with disabilities or different learning abilities or cognitive abilities?
• What people with disabilities do I have as a “community of accountability” that help to guide, support and challenge my personal and professional work around ableism and my desire to include people with disabilities in my programs/initiatives?
• In what ways does the oppressive system of ableism disconnect me from being able to authentically and effectively work with people with disabilities in ways that allow us all to thrive and sustain our work over time?

Dionardo Pizaña

Diversity and Personnel Specialist

Michigan State University Extension

Reaching Diverse Audiences

A common request from individuals is the desire to learn strategies or techniques on how to reach diverse community members.  These requests fall along the continuum of a genuine desire to meet the needs of the changing demographics in one’s community and not knowing where or how to start to a desire to work with a new and diverse audience “without offending them.”  Successfully reaching and building sustained, authentic relationships with diverse audiences entails work that needs to take place at the personal (values, beliefs, feelings), interpersonal (actions, behaviors, language), institutional (rules, policies and procedures) and cultural (what is right, normal, desired) levels.   Below are a few thoughts, strategies and techniques that can support effective and sustained efforts to work with diverse audiences.

Build and nurture diverse networks – Much of your success in reaching diverse audiences relies on building and nurturing relationships.  It is important to connect with both formal and informal community leaders and help them guide and influence your work within their communities.  They are the “experts” on their communities and should be honored as such.  Building these diverse contacts may also assist in other ways such as identifying other issues to partner on to address, identifying future diverse employees, or learning about the history of oppression and resiliency of the people in their community.  

Be willing to investigate issues of power and privilege – Many of the barriers and obstacles to working effectively in diverse communities are informed by issues of power and privilege.  It is important to be open to hearing and learning how power and privilege are impacting your working relationships with diverse community members and working together to identify how you can work to share power and to use privilege to support social justice, inclusion and equity. 

Work to build trust – Probably more than anything else, building trust is central to effectively reaching diverse audiences.  Trust must be a mutually defined relational principle that needs continuous work and updating.  It is effortful, intentional and ongoing. Developing trust across difference requires active listening that is focused on attempting to understand the realities of others and honors their realities as being just as relevant as your own. Trust is centered on the ability to reduce denial and defensiveness and a commitment to remaining in the relationship and “at the table” as the relationship develops and when tension or discomfort arises.

Prioritize building and nurturing relationships with “cultural connectors” – It is important to develop connections with individuals who can help you to better understand the diverse communities you want to reach and serve as a liaison as you navigate this new opportunity.  These individuals may also be helpful in understanding and interpreting cultural differences or nuances that may be impacting your programming or outreach efforts that may be invisible to you and your organization.  These individuals can be wonderful bridge builders with the community as you look to transform your how you conduct your business and more effectively reach the needs of the community.

Remain humble and willing to learn – Although you may have a vast wealth of knowledge and expertise on your subject or program, realize that it is just one set of information that may be helpful to this new and diverse audience you are wanting to work with.  As an educator/facilitator, how do you position yourself to be a co-learner in your interactions with these individuals and connect your expertise with existing assets and wisdom that already exist with these individuals and in their communities?  How can you also humbly change, adapt or transform the process and content of your work to better meet the realities and needs of this new audience?

Be aware of how often discussion/efforts to reach diverse audiences are problematized – Make a conscious effort to be aware of how conversations related to reaching diverse audiences are most times described within the context of challenges and problems not as opportunities connected to the very relevancy and mission of your organization.  These conversations tend to focus on difficult individuals or perceived cultural deficits that cause barriers rather than systemic (organizational) rules, policies, procedures or “traditions” (written and unwritten) that support exclusion and discrimination. Centering these discussions on problems or challenges can also add to the fear that individuals or organizations may already have entering into these relationships.  What would be the result of a conversation that asked the question, “What can we learn about ourselves, individually and as an organization, if we commit to understanding the assets of diverse members of our community and how we can work in partnership to address important issues affecting us all?” Each of us needs to find a voice to help interrupt “problem based” conversations and move us toward working collaboratively to build new, more inclusive systems and approaches.

Be open and curious (rather than judgmental and oft putting) – One of the most important things we can do when working with or reaching diverse audiences is to be open to learning about new ways to interpret the world, new forms of knowledge/wisdom and challenging our assumptions and stereotypes of people different from ourselves.  We need to challenge ourselves when our thoughts and actions with these individuals comes from a place of “better than/less than” judgment  and instead open ourselves to being curious, asking questions and taking risks which may challenge our level of comfort or our sense of superiority.

Hire and actively retain diverse individuals from the community – One important way to show a level of commitment and sustainability for your work with diverse audiences is to prioritize hiring diverse, multi-lingual, culturally aware members of the community you hope to partner with and reach.  Hiring these individuals can send an important message about your commitment to the community and these individuals can also bring some valuable and needed skills to your agency.  As important as it is to hire these individuals, it is just as important to have in place a plan to retain these individuals especially if they are being hired on grant dollars or other soft monies. 

Hire dominant group members with culturally relevant skills – Organizations may find it difficult to be competitive when trying to recruit diverse individuals into their workforce.  However, this should not be an excuse for developing processes, procedures and policies which set an expectation that all new or existing staff will develop or will possess skills needed to work effectively across differences, regardless of their background or position.  Creating an organizational climate that values staff with culturally competent skills can also send a clear message about your commitment to issues of inclusion and equity that may support your work in diverse communities. 

Engage with the audiences outside of your program or outreach effort – Being visible in the diverse communities you want to reach is essential to the success of your program.  Your visibility should not be tied solely to your programming or outreach efforts but should reflect a genuine desire to know, understand and connect with community members in their environment and on their terms.  For example, this may mean joining a community based organization or effort, attending local events or activities, or volunteering with a community based organization.  Your visibility in the community outside of your particular program or outreach effort will help build trust, provide you with a larger insight into the community and possibly develop other relational currency that will support the success of your outreach effort as it begins to unfold in the community.

Be aware of and challenge your biases and stereotypes of the group – Much of the information that we are exposed to on a daily basis across and about differences is laden with bias, stereotypes and fear.  We can spend energy denying that we hold these biases, stereotypes and fears about people different from ourselves or we can be aware when this information enters our thinking - challenge this thinking - and find ways to replace this information by building connected, supportive and authentic relationships with people different from ourselves. 

Listen for (and work to understand) the complexities of the realities of these diverse groups – Fight the inclination to try and find simple or quick “fixes” to complex, historical and systemic legacies of exclusion, discrimination and oppression.  Position yourself to listen deeply to the complex realities that make up the lives of people different from yourself and how there may be work that needs to occur at the intersections of identities such as race, class, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities and other differences.  Honor what a gift it is if a person different from you decides to share their reality with you and work against the tendency to disregard or minimize the impact of differences in this person’s life as it may not be your experience or reality. 

Be clear, sensitive, creative and flexible in gathering data and evaluating program impact – There may be real or perceived dangers or fears of providing personal information or other data that you may need as part of your program or program evaluation.  Much of these fears may be rooted in past negative experiences with “governmental” agencies seeking information or an unclear understanding of why this information is being collected and how it will be used.  It is important for you to share verbally and in writing what information you will be requesting from participants, how this information will be used and why obtaining this information is important to your program (and hopefully to the participants).  This information may need to be shared more than once and possibly in partnership with a trusted community partner who can help answer any questions that participants have and address any fears that may arise.  Additionally, you may need to find culturally relevant methods to administer evaluation processes for your work.  This may include using focus groups, using both written and oral instruments to capture impact, networking with other agencies that have worked on collecting data or evaluating programs with these audiences and discussing what did or did not work for them or working with the group to identify an effective way to gather this data. 

Move from savior to partner – Too many well intentioned efforts to reach diverse audiences have fallen short when individuals or organizations, directly or indirectly, enter these engagements with a savior mentality.  The individual or organization feels or acts as if by their mere presence, program or expertise, they can help save the community out of despair or disrepair and that the community lacks the skills or abilities to effectively address issues impacting their lives.   We need to consider a more effective approach in working with diverse audiences which centers on working with the community to address issues in partnership, helping to make visible the assets of the community and linking community assets with those that you bring to the table.  This partnership should also reflect, nurture and sustain some of the following core values including open communication, shared responsibility, ways to deal with conflict effectively, equity over equality and trust.

Celebrate Successes – It is important to take time to celebrate successes in this process whether they are big or small.  It is also important to honor the intentional and hard work that goes into developing and sustaining partnerships across differences through celebrations.  Celebrating successes can be another vehicle to build more authentic, healed and connected relationships across differences.

Interested in joining with others to learn and share more about reaching diverse audiences?  Feel free to join me for the webinar, “Beyond the Numbers: Considerations for Working with Latino/Hispanic Audiences.”  The webinar will be held on Tuesday, October 9, 2012 from 11am to 1pm (EST) and then again on Thursday, October 25, 2012 from 1pm to 3pm (EST).  Participation in the webinar will be limited to the first 40 individuals. 

You can connect with the webinar at https://connect.msu.edu/ec11j2/

This webinar is sponsored by the eXtension Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Community of Practice (CoP)

Dionardo Pizaña

Diversity and Personnel Specialist

Michigan State University Extension

President Obama’s Support for Same-Sex Marriage

President Obama recently articulated his support of marriage between gay individuals.  This is a controversial issue with some believing that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.  There are some issues of equality (or inequality) at the base of this discussion.    Can we be a country that assures equality and not affirm gay marriage? Weigh in with your thoughts.  

Please click on the link below to view the New York Times article for background information.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/10/us/politics/obama-says-same-sex-marriage-should-be-legal.html?pagewanted=all