At a recent dialogue on race that I
was asked to co-facilitate with a white, male co-facilitator, we asked the
group to introduce themselves and share one thing that they needed in order to
do their best work during the two days that we were spending with them. The group was overwhelmingly white, 16 of 18
participants, and as each participant
went around the circle and shared their names, almost all of the participants
who identified as white/Caucasian or European-American, said they needed safety
in order to do their best work. Safety
to make mistakes, safety to share thoughts and beliefs that may be counter to
other’s beliefs/thoughts and safety not be seen as ignorant or called racist
for what they expressed. It certainly
was an interesting start to the workshop and it was a marker for me that
several things needed to be tended to as a co-facilitator. I needed to work with my co-facilitator and
the group to build an environment that could hold these voiced concerns, be
aware that there were unhealed hurts from previous interactions across race
present with this group and that the need for safety expressed by dominant
groups, in this case white people, can sometimes be a cover for maintaining
privilege or at the minimum, being unwilling to challenge themselves to do
critical and hard self-examination around issues of race and racism.
The opening of this workshop reminds
me of questions (and internal struggles) that inevitably come up for me and my
colleagues about issues of safety or the need to ensure that individuals
engaging in these complex and transformative dialogues feel respected. Across race, the question may sound like, how
do we make sure that whites are not made to feel guilty or shamed or that the
lives and realities of people of color are not solely put on display for whites
to legitimize or give support to their existence? Is this even possible? If it is possible, where do we even start to
develop both a process and content that helps address these and other concerns
related to safety? As an
educator/facilitator committed to creating engaging and transformative
dialogues across differences, I continue to struggle with these same questions
and concerns.
As I have struggled with the issue of
safety, several interesting concerns arise. For some individuals, usually the
individuals with the most power and privilege in these interactions, safety
means comfort or comfortableness. I
don’t want to be made to feel uncomfortable, to be challenged or to hear the
truth of someone else’s reality. In
these cases, safety becomes another form of maintaining privilege and a barrier
to authentic and transformative change.
In some other cases, safety is about not letting things get so out of
hand, where we envision “emotions getting heated” and the conversation “gets
out of hand.” Issues of race, gender,
sexual orientation, class, disabilities and other differences are difficult,
complex and joyful and to believe that these conversation can be absent of
emotions is naïve and unrealistic.
Emotions are a part of every aspect of our lives and too often we are
told, directly or indirectly, to “keep emotions out of it” asking individuals
to leave behind one of their most important assets in life – their emotional
intelligence – to help create change. When
safety is a tool used to maintain privilege, silence people’s voices and
invalidate realities, it will only work to maintain the status quo and
oppression.
So if not safety, then what? More and more, I have found myself describing
the spaces that I work with others to create as welcoming and inclusive and
supportive and challenging as an alternative to describing these spaces
as safe. For me, these words strung
together help me to consider that I want all participants to feel welcomed
and included
- to bring their whole selves into the space - AND that they will be supported
at whatever place they come into this dialogue across differences - based on
their experiences (or lack thereof) - AND they will be challenged to grow and
hopefully transform from where they entered this space.
Here are some suggestions on how to
create welcoming, inclusive, supportive and challenging spaces for people to
engage in difficult, transformative, joyful and life giving conversations
across differences:
- Establish
guidelines or working agreements – Work with the participants to identify
guidelines (or provide pre-established guidelines) or working agreements that
will serve as a reminder of how the group will interact with each other. Post the guidelines in the room and ask the
group to agree to uphold the guidelines, to the best of their ability,
throughout the time together. A few
guidelines that may be helpful include, “It’s okay to disagree, but it is not
okay to shame, blame or attack yourself or others,” “Be aware of intent and
impact,” and “Practice both/and thinking.”
- Welcome
and recognize emotions – Acknowledge that emotions are part of the human
experience and can be very helpful as a tool for change. Also acknowledge that emotions are always
present when we are in relationship with others discussing complex issues or
issues that are seen as “taboo” to talk about in public. Ask participants to recognize and express
what they are feeling (mad, sad, scared, peaceful, powerful or joyful) as a way
of connecting the intellectual with the emotional that will support
transformation and spiritual/emotional health.
- Practice
what you teach – If you co-facilitate with others, take the time to build a
relationship with that individual that can be a model for participants on how
to authentically work across differences.
As much as possible, try to have facilitation teams that are diverse so
that when there is a need to challenge an idea or thought, facilitators can be
supportive of each other and share their experiences related privilege and
change, while not undermining the voice or power of anyone on the team.
- Model
being authentic and vulnerable – For participants to feel comfortable being
vulnerable or expand their comfort level, it may be inspiring to hear
facilitators share their thoughts and experiences of when we have made mistakes
or taken risks,Safet or when we were stuck in beliefs or actions that were
hurtful or oppressive. Modeling
authenticity and vulnerability around these issues may help others to move
through a similar process of growth and change.
We may never be able to create a space
that is totally safe for everyone, however, I do believe that we can create
spaces that can hold the various emotions, insights, experiences and identities
that we and our participants bring into these interactions, holding all of
these with respect, support and the opportunity to grow and change.
What have you done to create spaces
that are welcoming and inclusive, supportive and challenging around complex
issues around differences?
Dionardo Pizaña
Diversity and Personnel Specialist
Michigan State University Extension
